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EFT - yes it's weird, yes it works!

So, how are your New Year resolutions going? January is a long month, isn't it?

It's been a few weeks since Christmas, and all that turkey, spuds, pudding, more turkey.

You may know someone who's been trying to lose a few pounds in weight, you may even want to do that yourself.

Most people begin with good intentions...then the month drags on, life goes back to normal, and you forget why you were bothering.

And of course, because most people chose some kind of diet ( deprivation) the mind works in this odd way to make you more aware of what you are denying yourself.

That's why yo-you dieting doesn't work in the long term..they make you focus on food.

At SlimQuest there is another way! Yes there is!

SlimQuest is a 6 week course, begins in Febuary in Burnham, one hour a week. Learn what you need to learn about how to change your eating habits, then get on with your life.

One of the things we teach onSlimQuest is EFT - Emotional Freedom technique. It's really good for cravings, stress, bordom..whatever makes you head for the fridge!

Here's a taster of how to do it, below. And for more information on SlimQuest in Burnham ( day and evening courses!) click here.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)

First, rate your problem. So, if stressed, rate this on a scale of 1 to 10 - how stressed are you?

1. Find a spot on upper chest in line with your earlobe
2. Tap it lightly
3. Focus on yourself and your problem, and imagine the world at a distance from you.
4. Say something out loud about your problem and what you want eg I am calm, I am ok.
5. Whilst repeating the sentence, tap these points
6 Start of eyebrow
7 Outer corner of eye
8 Under eye
9 Under nose
10 Under mouth
11 Collar bone
12 Under arm
13 Chest point as before
14 Side of each finger by nail
15 Outside edge of hand
16 Soft spot between middle and little finger on top of hand
17 Repeat until you feel better.

Sue’s Tips

You can say your statement out loud or in your head, whatever feels right to you

If a certain point seems to work well, then focus on this one and tap it more than the others.

SlimQuest courses begin in Burnham in Feburary, day and evening courses available more info click here or call me

Sue Roberts  07721 410813 sue@ freedomfinders.co.uk

Cognitive Hypnotherapy, EFT, NLP for weight loss in Burnham Slough and Maidenhead.

 

SlimQuest Comes to Burnham!

SlimQuest – the group weight loss course – has been running successfully elsewhere for a number of years, and now comes to Burnham!

What is SlimQuest?

Would you like to gain control over your food and feel good about yourself?

Well, this is what SlimQuest does - by teaching you NLP techniques you can learn for yourself - how to feel ok about just having enough, how to make food an enjoyable part of your life, releasing you from the grind of yo-yo diets.

Slimquest is not a diet, and it’s not a ‘slimming class’. We don’t set goals and we don’t weigh.

The group size is limited to 10 people so you can learn from each other, and get quality training, feedback and attention, from me.

Someone said to me ‘I don’t want to change my life…I just want to lose a bit of weight!’ and SlimQuest is perfect for this – a way to reframe your attitude to food, and find a way to increase your exercise that suits your lifestyle.

Yo Yo Dieting Doesn’t Work

People have an emotional attachment to food – after all, it tastes nice! So bouts of deprivation can work, but are not a long term solution – because the emotional attachment is very strong and after a bout of deprivation comes an urge to get the nice feeling back!

So your weight yo –yo’s.

SlimQuest teaches you how to have a life in balance. So that ‘diets’ are something others do from now on!

When Does it Start?

The course begins on Friday morning 12th Feb, at 10am at Yoga Motion in Burnham.

Then the second course begins Thursday evening, 6pm, again at Yoga Motion

The course runs for 6 weeks, each weekly session is an hour long.

Delegates need to book in advance, and pay the course fee of £130 in full to secure their place.

Remember, places are limited to 10 people.
 

For booking, and to find out more, please call me Sue Roberts on 07721 410813

For some success quotes, go to:

http://www.freedomfinders.co.uk/Lose-Weight-With-SlimQuest.html

And for the national SlimQuest website;  www.slimquest.co.uk

Sue Roberts

Cognitive Hypnotherapy, NLP and Coaching for Burnham, Maidenhead and Slough

 

 

Gastric Band or Sort Your Head Out? How to  Stop Being Obsessed with Diets. Listen to my BBC Radio interview!

It’s new year again and the press is full of hints tips and good ideas on how to lose weight.

So it was refreshing to get a call from BBC Radio Berks, asking me to talk to Anne Diamond about ‘Are We Obsessed With Dieting’ and should we get off the bandwagon?

The topic had been prompted by two celebrities who were getting divorced, him citing her obsession with weight loss and exercise. Is dieting ruining our lives? The show wanted to know.

What a great opportunity I thought…then I remembered Anne’s own history with weight – and that she had, a few years ago, a gastric band fitted.

As a professional journalist, what would she ask of me, a Cognitive Hypnotherapist who works with people who actually want to avoid that kind of solution?

Was I setting myself up for a ‘Jeremy Paxman’ type grilling on my techniques and success rate??

What happened? Listen for yourself…move the cursor to 2hrs 7 mins on the iPlayer and she introduces me!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p005wx9p/p005wx9q/Anne_Diamond_12_01_2010/

Fed up with dieting? SlimQuest comes to Slough! No diets, no deprivation, learn how to change your attitude to food!

Click here for details of my SlimQuest Courses in Berkshire or please call me for more details 07721 410813

For courses nearer to you go to www.slimquest.co.uk



Sue Roberts cognitive hypnotherapy, NLP , weight loss SlimQuest in Burnham Slough Maidenhead

 

 

 
 

Is Your Motivation a Slouch Potato? 3 Key Strategies for Getting On With It.

Imagine if your motivation had a personality. It may be a happy, useful friend of sunny disposition, which bounces along with you in life’s adventures.

Or is it a slouch potato, lacking in energy, the only stretching it does for the TV remote.

For most of us, it’s usually a bit of both, and with busy lives, you may want a bit more of the bouncy one, but not know how to make this happen.

In this article, I’ll be explaining about motivation, and giving you three key strategies to be motivated and get more out of life.

So before we begin, spend some time now considering all the things you believe you have to do, and all the things you want to do. Write them down somewhere, and we’ll come back to it later.

Motivated or Procrastinated?

Motivation, simply defined is the inner energy, thought or vision that makes humans act. You do things for a purpose. And, when you are clear on that purpose, and like it, you act with such effort that gets a good result. This usually makes you happy, and so more motivated to do more things. Upward the motivation spiral goes.

But sometimes it’s not like that. Sometimes humans sometimes just don’t do. When this happens, you might find yourself thinking too much, or feel bad about not doing stuff, or just can’t see yourself succeeding.

Motivation can turn into procrastination, and then feelings of stuck-ness or guilt emerge.

Kick Start Your Motivation!

At some time or another, I am imagining that everyone reading this has a list of things to do. Have a look at the list I have asked you to write. For some of you, this will be a detailed, and numbered, list. For others, it’s a vague feeling of knowing there is stuff that need doing, with short notes.

And the stuff can be mundane chores like the recycling, or more complex items like getting a decent pension sorted.

Then there are the good stuff lists, which have items like phoning good friends, seeing that film before it leaves the cinema, or visiting ten brilliant places to see before you die.

There are many theories about motivation and what gives us that special thing inside us that makes us do what’s on the list.

Maslow’s theory says that needs drive motivation. When we have a basic survival need, we eat, and take steps to protect ourselves. Most people in the western world don’t need to do that much though, so Maslow also says that there are ‘higher needs’ like education and self-fulfilment, that drive us.

And when we have these needs met, there is no motivation to do more. So, if you already have a good life, are very fulfilled, you may lack motivation to achieve.

But hang on, most motivated people I know are fulfilled and do loads, so there may be other reasons why we lack motivation.

Victor Vroom’s theory says that to be motivated, we need a balance of wanting to do the task, with enough belief that it is achievable.

And going back to those lists, some things may not be achievable right now, and putting them all together on one list, usually with timescales that are a bit challenging, may actually be de-motivating and cause you to give up. All those things in one place might just be adding to the problem

So this leads us to the first key strategy for being more motivated:

1. Ruthless List Management (RLM)

However you do your life lists, be ruthless about what is on them. Take a long hard look at the things that need doing.  Ask yourself if every point is absolutely necessary and within your control. Categorise your list into must do, might do, and maybe if I have time.

Then look at your list. In the must do category, consider how balanced it is with mundane items and good stuff.

If your list is over-balanced with mundane stuff, and just by looking at it, it makes you miserable, no wonder you are having problems.

This is because humans are programmed towards good feelings, and if you have stuff on your list that you believe should be, or aught to be done, then this could be creating negative feelings, so you back away from it.

Hence the list becomes a burden that makes you feel bad because it’s there, and because you can’t get enough positive motivation to do it.

So, the second strategy is to:

2. Take Control

We all know that there are things we need to do that are mundane. However when your life list is full of these items, reconsider if they are really necessary.

With each item, ask yourself if you want to do it, or if you believe you should or aught, to do it. If the latter words, or something similar crops up, then ask yourself who says that you need to do these things.

An easy example of the type of things that can crop up are tidying a messy cupboard, or calling a long forgotten friend.

These type of things can be on your list because you believe you’d be a better person in some way, if you did them, but, by loading yourself with things you believe you aught to do, you can forget the things, and the people, that really matter.

Some things on your list might be things you imagine others would encourage you to do, like being tidy. Sometimes we can forget that as adults, it’s up to you to decide how tidy you want your place.

So if you have things on your list that you believe you should do, give them the should or aught test, and if inside yourself you have a sense you don’t really want to do them, let them go. Take control of what you believe is important to you.

With a bit of practice, this can be very liberating. Then you end up with a list of key things that you really believe need doing, because they are important to the maintenance of your life, or you really want to do them.

The next step is getting there:

3. Bring the future to now

Make some quiet time. Close your eyes, and have a sense of you doing the stuff you have decided is important.

Imagine you being motivated. Notice in the future one thing about yourself that is making you motivated: a feeling, a thought, whatever it is for you. Really focus on this. Everyone is different, so it could be a way of doing things, setting realistic timescales, or just a feeling of being in control.

See it, think it or feel it.

Once you have a sense of what it is that makes you motivated, bring it back with you, come all the way back to now with the thing that can make all the difference.

Open your eyes, and keep that difference within you as you do the things you want to do. And do them well!

Sue Roberts
Cognitive Hypnotherapist & Life coach
sue@freedomfinders.co.uk
07721 410813

Cognitive Hypnotherapy, NLP and Life Coaching in Burnham Slough & Maidenhead

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can-Do and Tips to Maintain Emotional Health!

 
Our success in work and relationships depends on good emotional health.

Strong, positive feelings project outwards from us and when they do, life is easier, less stressful and we get more of what we want.

Here are some tips to help:

Every day, notice something that you are grateful for.

In work, this may be your work friends, or something you did well.

In relationships, imagine something your partner does, or your child’s smile. This focuses your mind on good things and promotes positive feelings inside.

Pay attention to sleeping. Good sleep patterns can prevent depression and promotes positive emotional health, as you sort the day’s events and put them to rest.

Get enough, and if you are having trouble sleeping, eat early, get your jobs done and then create a relaxing routine.

Don’t watch the late news. Enough sleep increases your work performance and makes you less crabby with colleagues.

Every week, make sure that you do something that makes you really happy, such as spending time with family and friends, or time alone with a good book.
 
If you don’t know what makes you happy, imagine the last time you were, and what made you happy – the people, the place, the activity, and do more of it.

In work, take some exercise at lunch time. Brisk walking in the open air is enough to get your body fit and able to manage the stresses back at the office.

Every month, do something for someone else.

This can be a household job that is usually your partners or mum’s, or something for a local charity, like delivering leaflets. Doing selfless activities promotes your positive feelings about you, and increases metal well being.

Organise your work friends to do the same, either by contacting the local blood donor service to come to your workplace or adopting a charity and having monthly events.

Yearly, make sure you have two weeks off.

Even if you can’t get away, have a holiday from your usual activities. Ban TV, create meals from different countries and keep your phone off. A rest gives you time to reflect, recharging mental and physical batteries.

Once a year, do something completely different, in work or career this may be taking on a new project that makes you learn new skills or at home a new hobby or activity.

This keeps your mind active and fulfils needs to be challenged and stretched.

Need help with your emotional health? Contact me for a chat 07721 410813 sue@freedomfinders.co.uk

Sue Roberts Cognitive Hypnotherapy , NLP and Life Coaching in Burnham Maidenhead Slough 

 

 

Many people have things they’d rather forget.
 

In a career, this may be the new job that turned out a nightmare, or the missed opportunities for a life not applied for. Or the relationship from hell that it’s hard to get over.

The trouble can be when these former memories refuse to go away, and have an impact on life now, by either hanging around as bad feelings (loss, regret, hurt) or by manifesting as a lack of belief about self or inability to make the right decisions in life; so jobs or promotions may pass us by because we can’t see them because we’re stuck in the past mistake.

Seems we humans do have an expectation that we should know how to live, and that every life decision has to be perfect.

When how can we make perfect decisions, because humans learn by doing. 

Inevitably we are programmed to learn, and move forward.

Some people find themselves locked in the past experiences either because they can’t seem to get over the loss, or the regret, or sometimes they fear of the consequences of moving forward, so the negative feelings and memories act as a safety mechanism; the unconscious mind just trying to keep you away from further bad feelings or decisions by reminding how bad the last ones were!

So when understanding these memories from this perspective, they are just trying to keep us safe, acknowledge this, and listen to the advice they may give you; so learn from them, and use their advice to make more useful decisions in the future.

This may help in deciding what life path is really right for you; the one not taken might have been so for a very good reason. The trick is to decide for yourself if the reason was a good one, and act differently next time.

Whilst all of these behaviours have their reasons (which can be resolved!), it can be useful to have a balance of the past, present and future.

Consider how your life would be if you could say this;

· I enjoy my memories, and tend not to dwell on the bad ones
· I appreciate NOW, and time goes much slower when I do
· I look forward to the future and all the exciting things that are out there
· I know I have the skills to cope if life takes an unfortunate turn.

And how much better would your life be if this was your mantra?

None of us are perfect, however a slight change in our ‘time balance’ may make a huge difference to our career experience. And inevitably, the future is out there!

So how can we let go of the old memories and feelings of regret or loss, so we can move forward with more optimism and success?

Here are a few tips to help be rid of the past, less useful, memories about the jobs, relationships or decisions from hell!

· Reframing. Imagine the past event that is getting you down. Then, write 5 things about not getting the job/promotion/relationship that are a GOOD thing. Nothing is ever perfect, however humans tend to delete the bad points of the situation and focus on the good ones, so ask your mind to let you know the bad points that  you were ignoring. Practice, and you may be amazed how easy it is to reframe any situation to understand the positive in it and move on to a better decision.

· Change the way you are imagining the event in your memory. So, imagine it, and write down how  you imagine it, ie is it in black and white or colour, near to you or far away, moving or still, large or small, with or without sound. Then work out what the opposite is; so if its in colour close your eyes and imagine it in black and white and so forth, until the image no longer represents the original memory.

· Imagine your memory, and stick micky mouse ears on all the people in it that you have bad feelings about. You may even want to give them micky mouse voices. And get them to move around like M Mouse. Practice making them as ridiculous and as comic as possible (use your own preferred comic idol for better effect!)

Soon, and with practice, these memories can fade into your mind as they should do, and you can find it easy to face life and new challenges!

Sue Roberts, cognitive hypnotherapist &  NLP  life coach. 07721 410813 sue@freedomfinders.co.uk

Cognitive hypnotherapy, NLP and life coaching in Burnham Slough Maidenhead

 

 

Did you see this news story today?

A study has been done that shows that women put their own needs second, try to be superwoman in all aspects of their life, and end up stressed and suffering from mental health issues as a result.

I don't know how much this study costs but any decent therapist would tell you this for nothing!

The most common issue by far with women in business that I have seen is this very one.

Women talk of being pulled, stressed, no time for themselves and feelings of powelessness and lack of energy leading to food issues, one too many glasses of wine in the evening and generally a bad temper.

Nobody wins.

There is however a different way to be. Most women agree that if they are relaxed, things get easier, kids are less of a bother and life gets more enjoyable. They are the centre of the family after all.

But a lot of women are, unconsiously, holding on to far too many 'I must' , 'I shoulds' and also the fear of what might happen if she did put her own needs first.

NLP  and cognitive hypnotherapy are  really good ways to  resolve all of this, to help women to find a balance - between what they need, what others need, and to have flexibility in when to choose what is right, when it's right.

This is the true meaning of empowerment - and taking control.

if you know anyone who may benefit from knowing more about how I can help with this problem, please send them a link to my website or ask them to call me for a chat 07721 410813  email : sue@freedomfinders.co.uk

Sue Roberts
Cognitive hypnotherapy , NLP, and life coaching in Burnham Slough Maidenhead

 

Some people say they are self-confident ‘most of the time’, and then come the ‘buts’; the part of their life they struggle with. This might be public speaking, with people that are close , or strangers.

So a very common issue is people tend to be ok with themselves, just feel differently when it comes to showing who they are to the rest of the world.

You know: ‘ what will they think of me if I stand up and speak’, or ‘ how will they feel if I go and do it’, or ‘ no-one will like me if I say that’

Sometimes, people have a whole auditorium of friends family or strangers in their mind, who they perceive judge them, and usually negatively.

And this means they spend a lot of time worrying about what others will think or feel about them, and so don’t do stuff they like to do, or might fail at, or even succeed at!

This is because lack of self confidence is rooted in the fear of the opinion of others.

In evolutionary terms, this is because when humans were in caves, it was really important for survival that we got on with others, or we would be thrown out of the group, and most likely not survive.

So our unconscious mind is programmed to be sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of others and calibrate our behaviour so we ‘fit in’.

Which was ok when we were in caves. And in 21st Century, gets a bit restrictive.

So reprogramming is needed, to update our 'mind software' , that we are living by different rules.

Not that we need to take away our ‘others radar’ completely, it does come in handy and gives us what we need to exists socially with each other.

It just needs a tweak.

And because everybody does their self-confidence issue their way, cognitive hypnotherapy and NLP are such good solutions: a tweak for everyone: a  solution based on individual issues and how to solve them.

Simple, when you know how, and I can show you!

Sue Roberts 07721 410813

Cognitive Hypnotherapy, NLP and Life Coaching in Burnham Slough Maidenhead

Acknowledgements: thank you  to Michael Neill for the inspiration behind this blog!

Michael’s website
 

Is your child a fussy eater?

A BBC news story today talks about how many parents mistake bad behaviour for  eating disorders, and suffer nightmares at dinner time because their child refuses to eat.

I have experience of helping parents with children who can’t or won’t eat certain foods, and almost always the problem began with child refusing certain foods and mum or dad ‘giving in’: usually because of fear the child will starve unless they give them what they want.

How can you begin to resolve this issue?

Firstly, rule out the possibility of an intolerance or allergy. The child may have good reasons for refusing a food and normally this will be quite specific items.

Secondly, remember that children are mostly responsive to their family unit; they usually do things in response to others and things happening around them.

So, what stresses are going on in the family? If you are ignoring and not resolving them, your child may be telling you they are not happy in the only way they can.

Has there been a new baby? Is there tension in your partnership, or money or job worries?

In this case, rather than sending your child to be ‘fixed’, consider help with family or stress issues for the grown ups. If you are stressed you are in no position to improve your child’s behaviour.

Finally, if you seek help from a practitioner like myself, consider that children use ‘not eating’ as a powerful way to get attention from their parents, and to resolve this, along with professional help, you need to be resolved to do what it takes to get your child into better and healthier eating habits. 

My approach is to provide support for child and parents, teaching them how to handle meal times better, and focussing on practical ways to get your child eating. One of the key ways to do this is to make the sessions fun for the child, and to involve the parents as much as possible, so that what we learn in session can be transferred to the dinner table.

If you’d like more information, please do call or email me on 07721 410813, or sue@freedomfinders.co.uk

Sue Roberts

Cognitive Hypnotherapy, NLP and Life Coaching in Burnham Slough Maidenhead

Read the BBC story here