What Makes You Stressed?

Our success in work, family and relationships depends on good emotional health.

But, stress seems to be a fact of life and a lot of people live with it. There is also debate about it: in work, many people are seen as weak if they show signs of stress, and on the other hand, health experts say that stress can cause major mental and physical health problems and should not be ignored.

These health problems can include back pain, headaches, digestion problems and a compromised immune system more susceptible to viruses such as colds.

Cognitive hpnotherapy and nlp can help you gain more control of your stress and live a better life.

Why People Put Up With Stress. 

Many people don’t deal with their stress because they believe they can’t, don’t have the skills, have got stuck in the bad feelings, or perceive there are even worse consequences to sorting it out.

But, by getting specific about causes of stress, and making small changes to life, can make a big difference to how much better you can begin to cope.

The causes of stress are different for everyone, and so is the solution. This is why some people seem to thrive on the most stressful of situations, while others appear not to cope with very mundane situations.

Understanding yourself and how to live your life in the best way for you, leads to emotional health, and the ability to thrive.

There are many ways to deal with stress, and sometimes it is just not practical right now to resolve the root cause. This article will give you ways to cope daily: the quick fix, and ways to deal with the longer-term issues. 

Unmet Needs Can Make You Stressed.

Emotional needs have a habit of needing to be met, and they don’t go away. If ignored, they can make you stressed, and unable to cope.

An organisation called the Human Givens Institute has identified eleven emotional human needs that make us happy when fulfilled. These include security, attention, emotional intimacy, control, privacy and meaning and purpose to our activities.

Lack of Control

A major cause of workplace stress has been identified as lack of control over work activities, or our working environment, or amount of work. This can be caused by poor management skills, bullying from boss or colleagues, or misplaced focus on what leads to long-term profit.

Another example is a lack of control over your environment. This is why noisy neighbours or road works close by our home can be such a big problem.

Be assertive about your needs.

The Human Givens Institute has a website to help you identify what needs are not being met in your life www.enaproject.org .

This helps you work out specifically what needs to change, to make you less stressed.

Then, make a list of what small changes would make a big difference. This may be improved ways of communication with your boss at work, or something in your social life that would make you happier and so more able to deal with life at work.

This does assume that the people around you are willing to listen. However, usually by giving them a very good reason to do so, you might be surprised how co-operative others can be. So, if suggesting a change that involves others, work out their WIFM: what’s in it for me.

If you have severe problems asserting your needs, then get help, from an NLP Practitioner. Cognitive Hypnotherapist, or other professional you believe is going to work for you.

The Quick Fix

Sometimes, stressful situations arise that need a quick fix, either because they are going to be short lived, are what you need in the long term, or involve others. This could be when a loved one is ill, for example, or when moving house, or dealing with an overdue break-up of a relationship.

In these cases, make time for Yoga, or other physical activity like walking. This gives the energy built up by stress a channel and a focus. If you don’t have much time, allow yourself the maximum you can, but aim for 30 minutes each day, for the duration of the stressful situation.

If another person’s behaviour is making you stressed, a good way to reframe this is to practice visualisation: imagine the person wearing Mickey Mouse ears, or make a movie of them in your mind, and press the fast forward button so they are running around like a cartoon. Have fun making them seem ridiculous in your mind, and the next time you meet them, you might be amazed how just by doing this, they seem a lot less stressful to you.

Make space in your life, either for less people or more.

Does being with others all the time make you stressed, or do you need to be the life and soul of the party to keep you happy?

Whether you like being with others all the time or not, is based on personality type. Stress can be reduced by understanding what works for you.

A quick exercise is to remember the past month, and write down all the times you felt really happy and stress free. Notice if most of those times where when you were with others, or when you were having quiet time on your own.

If being with others makes you less stressed, then focus on activities that involve others. So, when doing exercise, choose group sessions or team sports.

If making space to be alone reduces your stress levels, make sure you plan in time to do just that. Read books, do solitary hobbies, or practice yoga at home.

Do More of What Makes You Happy. 

Often, stressful situations can be coped with when the majority of your life is ok.

Doing more of what makes you happy can put the stressful times in perspective.

Make time in your week to do something that makes you really happy, visiting friends, or something creative. If you don’t know what makes you happy, imagine the last time you were, and what made you happy – the people, the place, the activity, and do more of it.

Plan to do something completely different, this may be taking on a new project that makes you learn new skills or at home a new hobby or activity. This keeps your mind active and fulfils needs to be challenged and stretched.

Stress may be a fact of life, however you can learn to master it: just focus on just one of the points above, and give it a go!

To make an appointment with me to resolve your stress, please click here

Sue Roberts 07721 410813 sue@freedomfinders.co.uk

Sue Roberts cognitive hypnotherapy and nlp coaching for Burnham Slough Maidenhead

hypnosis for stress Burnham Slough Maidenhead